Mr.Kopa the Helen of Politicraft

Stricken by his pervasive love for Mr. Kopa, our venerable emperor, AdmiralBubbles chased tirelessly across the land to find he who embodies everything the emperor ever dreamt of. Eventually, an idea took root in his greedy little mind. In accordance with ancient Greek literature, from whose language our empire derived her namesake, AdmiralBubbles executed an order which would rival that of Paris of Troy and crown Mr. Kopa the Helen of Politicraft. Yes, fueled by AdmiralBubbles twisted affection, war was waged between the two nation; THEOS and MSF. At this point however it must be made clear that tis not a war for conquest, for expansion nor for power, not in the archetypal sense. It is a war for love, for the emperor's desire that consumed his entire being when not slaked. Tis a holy war fought in the spirit of our ancient ancestor, the King of Gods, Zeus, in the sense that all price shall be payed for the sake of uniting the phallus of one man with what he so wishes. And so on the eve of 30th of April, an offical declaration of war was issued; an ultimatum, if you may. Shall MSF fail to produce Mr. Kopa, ready to offer himself to AdmiralBubbles in both body and soul, the Empire shall stop at nothing in order to seize what should rightfully be her's. Inconceivably, MSF failed to comply with what should be a reasonable and humble request. Instead, they hastily denounced the gesture of goodwill (for what better than marriage in uniting two nations?) and flagrantly denied. In punishing the detriment of the sacrosanct love the emperor harboured, MSF was destroyed, with a large wooden horse erected outside of the ruins that was MSF's pathetic excuse of a base. Mr. Kopa was seized and violated for days until the emperor grew discontent with his newly loosened orifices. It is unclear who the next target will be, but the good people of politicraft, heed my words: shall the emperor grant you the honour of receiving him into you, you mustn't deny. Resistance is futile, tis a gift from the heavens above that mere mortals shall only gratefully accept. Let Mr. Kopa be a warning to y'all.

